Updates From Krabi: Day 23

2.2.15

Day 23

My neck is swollen, literally. Mama Thai didn’t believe me when I told her my neck was injured. She thought that meant put her thumb through my trap all the way into my clavicle. I think when I blacked out for a second she thought I was very relaxed. She tried to Segal me like 7 times before I had to use Aikido to get her hands off my neck. I still feel pretty good though, because it was obvious that this was all because she cared about me a lot.

Our boatman has been secured for tomorrow. We’ll take a wooden long tail boat out to island cruise and get some snorkeling in. We got a private boat to protect us from Mainland Chinese tourists as well as Russian men with nipple piercings and capris. There isn’t a price you could put on that kind of freedom.

I got fitted for my first custom shirt today. The tailor did his measurements because I want a very nice and fresh white button down. Plain, clean, crisp. Like toasted oatmeal. I have a 17” neck. That’s some hulk shit. And a 42.5” chest. I’m what you might call broad chested if ya know what I mean. He’s going to do this whole deal, make my shirt out of starch grains, bring me back in for a final alternation, and them I’m flying home the best dressed guy in town for $25. And I didn’t even barter with him. I’m tired of bartering in SE Asia. These people are so damn poor. We’re talking a buck or two, who gives a shit really? Although I did talk the ladies down on our massages today because they were cheaper down the street. That is sensical.

It felt pretty good watching the Patriots beat the garbage trash bag Seahawks today. Someone should take Sherman out back and put him down for good because he’s an idiot. People complained about the Patriots and the deflated balls but the NFL released an apology because only 1 of the balls turned out to be under inflated and the Pats had no knowledge. People won’t believe that, they would rather hate because Brady is the best quarter back of all time and he’s banging a Victoria Secret supermodel so naturally he must be a bad guy. And Belichick has been scouting football teams since he was literally 9 so he must be a cheating son of a bitch too. They are winners. Brady is a winner, Belichick is a winner, and the Patriots are winners.

We watched the game at a sports bar in town at 6am. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage were included in the $10 ticket price. 38 of us sat there, blood shot eyes, not from drinking but from it being 6am, watching some good old pig skin.

All in a days work here in Krabi. When I’m not out there in the world doing the good man’s work, I’m on my computer writing letters because it brings closer to being able to say the things that I want to say to the people that I want to say them to.

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