blog New Life : Erica 2nd Date

New Life : Erica 2nd Date

There is a certain nostalgia attached to every flight. I’ve always felt sleepy as soon as I’ve gotten to airports. Like I could finally relax and just be me for a few. I’m flying back to San Diego after getting situated in my new apartment in the East Village. I spent much of the afternoon …

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blog On Marriage : The Beginning Part 2

On Marriage : The Beginning Part 2

*feature image of my old office where we worked sometimes *italicized bits are direct pulls from my journals Sunday 10/19/14 11:11PM Alexis and I were listening to music on the drive home. I wanted her to hear Snow in Newark. It made me think of her. The words, the energy. It was so intense but …

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blog On Marriage : The Beginning Part 1

On Marriage : The Beginning Part 1

*feature image of the shirt we decided on August, 2014 I was ready to call it quits and sneak out the back when I saw her. It took me a second to place it, where did I know her from, and then it hit me, through my whole body all at once – she was …

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blog New Life : Erica

New Life : Erica

We spent four hours together. I’ve been using the time as a way to measure the experience. My thinking is that if you aren’t into each other you will find a way to end it between an hour and an hour and a half.  First it was coffee at Stumptown. Then an art show in …

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blog On Marriage : European Vacation

On Marriage : European Vacation

December, 2018 It’s Thursday. Wednesday happened on an airplane.  It’s been a while since I puked my living guts out. Can’t be sure if it was the airplane turkey or the airport eggs. By the time we were in the taxi in Budapest I was having hot flashes. What would it look like if I …

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blog New Life : Sensei Charlie

New Life : Sensei Charlie

“You’re afraid other people are going to be as unsupportive as you.”  Charlie sits on my laptop on the table in the living room. It is morning in Thailand and his Thai girlfriend moves around in the background making food and clanking pots and pans. At first, I was disturbed by this. I wanted her …

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blog On Marriage : The Morning After

On Marriage : The Morning After

I wake up the next day like someone who didn’t expect to. Like someone who took all the pills and thought it was over. I can’t think about what comes next because then I’ll never do anything. What comes next is a dizziness that feels like a dream mixed with dread that reminds me it’s …

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blog New Life : New York

New Life : New York

Charlie just got done yelling at me. Not yelling as you would imagine a parent doing, but yelling at me with his mind and his silence as I explained dramaticized vignettes of my New York life.  On 11:11 I used to wish to make a specific amount of money this year. I thought it could …

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blog On Marriage : The End

On Marriage : The End

Part 1 – This is how I will process.  The piano is playing in my ears and all the images of her are flooding to the front of my mind. Her warm heart. Strong heart. The wrestling. Woody biting my arms to protect her and then kissing my face after.  – I looked at an …

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blog Everything Is Not Mine

Everything Is Not Mine

*photo from Naked Apartments I’m in New York this week. I come every year to see Jenny and to get rejuvenated by the energy. San Diego is to easy as New York is to alive. But this year is a little different. I used to be excited about the new developments in Williamsburg – all …

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