blog Whole30 Day 11 : Making Breakfast Great Again

Whole30 Day 11 : Making Breakfast Great Again

8:53 a.m. N.A.U.S.E..A. 9:03 a.m. I’m pretty sure we went to bed at like 11 last night. I’m not positive because I didn’t check the time, but I know it was early. And we didn’t wake up this morning until just before 9. It’s raining outside and I want to sleep all day. Somewhere during …

Read Article Read More

blog Whole30 Day 10 : Woody Pees On Everything

Whole30 Day 10 : Woody Pees On Everything

8:17 a.m. Double digits, bitches, I mean, ya’ll. Too aggressive. Sorry. 1/3 through. It’s all about the fractions now. Did you make the paper rings out of construction paper to count down to Christmas when you were little? I loved those. Okay, so I watched two episodes last night, not one. I don’t understand how …

Read Article Read More

blog Whole30 Day 9 : Today Was Not My Day

Whole30 Day 9 : Today Was Not My Day

5: 33 p.m. Thinking about doing this all in one swoop tonight. I made a commitment not to be on my computer all day today because it’s Saturday and I’m trying to engage in the good graces of the collective weekend vibe. Let’s start with this morning. I woke up with my neck thrown out. …

Read Article Read More

blog Whole30 Day 8 : Apparently There’s Not A Space Between Whole And 30

Whole30 Day 8 : Apparently There’s Not A Space Between Whole And 30

8:31 a.m. Woke up this morning to a nice, threatening email from Alexis’ mom. Just so you can get a better understanding of the mental makeup of this particular individual I’ve included the full transcript. Seems like she might be on the Whole30 as well. Now, you might be thinking, “Okay, you’re taking this a …

Read Article Read More

blog Whole 30 Day 7 : Who Wouldn’t Wanna Do This? Me.

Whole 30 Day 7 : Who Wouldn’t Wanna Do This? Me.

8:32 a.m. Did anyone ever think maybe this was a bad idea? I mean consider this – the first two books on the Whole 30 diet were written by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig. The most recent book, only Melissa’s name appears on the cover. Dallas probably lost his shit and their whole relationship ended over …

Read Article Read More

blog Whole 30 Day 6 : Am I Sick of This Already?

Whole 30 Day 6 : Am I Sick of This Already?

8:14 a.m. Adult things happened last night. I am as nauseous as I’ve been since the beginning. I feel weak, my head hurts, and I couldn’t sleep well. I had a dream that a dozen of my friends were at the movies and to stay warm we had a dinosaur behind us breathing out of …

Read Article Read More

blog Whole 30 Day 5 : Tiger Blood?

Whole 30 Day 5 : Tiger Blood?

10:22 a.m. Yeah I’m late to the game this morning. I get it. But I had important work to do. Something that has been unsettling to me since I’ve started this challenge is this new jacket I bought in Paris. We walked by a Nike Lab and Alexis said that we should go in. Little …

Read Article Read More

blog Whole 30 Day 4 : How Many More Days?

Whole 30 Day 4 : How Many More Days?

8:30 a.m. Alexis wouldn’t get out of bed last night due t0 hunger and fatigue. So I grabbed the bag of tortilla chips from the top shelf. “I’m just going to have these chips,” crumpling bag. “No you’re not! Put those down Kirk!” “Just going to have a few…” Then I hear thunderous footsteps and …

Read Article Read More

blog Whole 30 Day 3 : Woody Becomes a Man

Whole 30 Day 3 : Woody Becomes a Man

DAY 3 of the Whole 30 diet. 8:45 a.m. I’m awake. I feel better. On the cold front. It’s sunny outside. Alexis is up stretching in the yoga area. I’ll put on some pants and take the pup for a walk. Get some fresh air and all that talk from the old days. 9:27 a.m. …

Read Article Read More