I have a thing for efficiency. I trained myself to sleep without moving so it takes less time to make the bed in the morning. I warm the tea while I pull the oil. I do my Spanish lesson while I stretch. I have 2 computers going at once; one for work and one for research. I look really impressive to someone that lacks motivation. I sound really impressive when I speak to other entrepreneurs. But it doesn’t always work for me.
If there was only one funnel, one stream of productivity at a time, then my attempt to jam all things in at once would lead to a bottleneck. And it does. I THINK and THINK and THINK about all the things I have to do and actually do little to nothing. This happens on my “off days.” I can push through it, by picking one thing and doing it and letting the stream open by way of necessity. The cool thing – it always does. I know this.
I know that there is no such thing as a waste of time. I wrote this course once, called Organizing Inspiration, designed to help artists and entrepreneurs get out of their head and into a workable plan that would constantly produce output and create structure and mental freedom. It was probably the most impressive piece of work I’ve ever published. The reason for its birth was the fact that I want to do everything and nothing and I have to have it done at a certain time but I don’t want anyone to tell me how or why. I need structure but I hate structure. I need to follow orders but I refuse to take them from anyone else. I essentially used a process to allow myself to be my own boss without really realizing it. If you’ve worked for yourself, or had creative ambitions, you know how important this is.
This morning is a blue block. Blue = creative. Every day has one. I’m going to dance class. Later I’ve got a green block. Green = productive work that I enjoy. I’m going to film some video overviews for these individual worksheets.
It’s scary to realize that I only like things if I think they were my idea or came from someone so legit that other people don’t really know about yet. As soon as it’s popular, even if it’s my world-favorite thing, I start to turn against it. It’s innate. And I know a lot of people are like this. The key to creating something that I would actually follow was to design it in a way that could change on a daily basis. I never have to work the same schedule twice. I can cycle through a hundred different creative activities. I can take entire days off. It works for me because it caters to the entire human.
The happiest times of my life are when I’m getting work done; things that I enjoy and things that most people wouldn’t finish. That’s me. A sense of accomplishment never gets old.
I wasn’t intending to write in this direction. I keep thinking that I’m writing a sales page right now. The point was to talk about how I have too many things going on right now. I can’t focus on one. I look around, I want to play the guitar, no I should draw, I need to finish this book, have to edit the trailer, need to shoot my own trailers, I haven’t stretched today, did I meditate yet? Am I hungry? Need some sulfur, should I pay bills? And on and on until I’m curled up in the fetal position wishing I was on sabbatical in a third-world country.
I’m in a funk. What I call “The Float.” When nothing sounds good, nothing feels good, I essentially don’t want to do anything. These used to last weeks at a time. And now I remember I just need to make myself a schedule for the next 3 days and take care of all the things that make me human – work work, work I love, creative projects, exercise, socializing, resting, and accountability. I’ll get through the 3 days and stick to my mini schedule and I’ll feel like a million fucking dollars. It works every time and it doesn’t matter how bad the funk.
Still, makes you wonder – why does it take a pep talk every time I need to do what I know will make me happy?