blog New Life : Erica

New Life : Erica

We spent four hours together. I’ve been using the time as a way to measure the experience. My thinking is that if you aren’t into each other you will find a way to end it between an hour and an hour and a half.  First it was coffee at Stumptown. Then an art show in …

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blog On Marriage : European Vacation

On Marriage : European Vacation

December, 2018 It’s Thursday. Wednesday happened on an airplane.  It’s been a while since I puked my living guts out. Can’t be sure if it was the airplane turkey or the airport eggs. By the time we were in the taxi in Budapest I was having hot flashes. What would it look like if I …

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blog New Life : Sensei Charlie

New Life : Sensei Charlie

“You’re afraid other people are going to be as unsupportive as you.”  Charlie sits on my laptop on the table in the living room. It is morning in Thailand and his Thai girlfriend moves around in the background making food and clanking pots and pans. At first, I was disturbed by this. I wanted her …

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blog On Marriage : The Morning After

On Marriage : The Morning After

I wake up the next day like someone who didn’t expect to. Like someone who took all the pills and thought it was over. I can’t think about what comes next because then I’ll never do anything. What comes next is a dizziness that feels like a dream mixed with dread that reminds me it’s …

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blog New Life : New York

New Life : New York

Charlie just got done yelling at me. Not yelling as you would imagine a parent doing, but yelling at me with his mind and his silence as I explained dramaticized vignettes of my New York life.  On 11:11 I used to wish to make a specific amount of money this year. I thought it could …

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blog On Marriage : The End

On Marriage : The End

Part 1 – This is how I will process.  The piano is playing in my ears and all the images of her are flooding to the front of my mind. Her warm heart. Strong heart. The wrestling. Woody biting my arms to protect her and then kissing my face after.  – I looked at an …

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blog Everything Is Not Mine

Everything Is Not Mine

*photo from Naked Apartments I’m in New York this week. I come every year to see Jenny and to get rejuvenated by the energy. San Diego is to easy as New York is to alive. But this year is a little different. I used to be excited about the new developments in Williamsburg – all …

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blog The Writer or The Businessman

The Writer or The Businessman

It’s hard to get out of bed when it’s cold. Now, folks in Michigan might hear me say ‘cold’ and roll their eyes. Fair. But you must understand, we don’t have heat in old homes in San Diego so when it’s 50 degrees outside at night it’s also 50 degrees in our apartment. Under the …

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blog How Much Does It Cost To Feel Like Your Life Is A Good One ?

How Much Does It Cost To Feel Like Your Life Is A Good One ?

I’m sitting on the Soto chair in the living room, the chair Alexis fought to the death to earn us at the Joybird Scratch and Dent warehouse sale. Woody is laying on the rug, chewing his bone like a sweet little prince. Alexis is on the couch, anchoring our triangle, practicing her acoustic guitar. She …

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blog Broke My Back, Wrote A Book

Broke My Back, Wrote A Book

It’s been thirty-four days since my last workout. I had an idea that I was going to get hurt soon. My back ached above my kidney, or maybe it was my actual kidney. It happened when I went too hard for too long, tightness and pain to the touch. But if I’ve learned anything from …

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