Tom Hardy – Retarded or Cool?: 500 Words a Day – Day 7

Seven

I’m in my bed in Hong Kong and I have day 1 Asia fatigue which means I can fall asleep without warning at any time.

I was upgraded to a deluxe room but it’s still not even big enough to stretch on the floor. Hong Kong – pay $1.5mill for a 280 sq ft apartment in a 50 story building.

I’m also writing from my phone which I don’t like because I make a lot of typing mistakes and then I get really angry, like angry where I start swearing and threatening to smash my phone’s face in with my teeth grinding down on each other.

I’m obsessed with Tom Hardy lately. If this were the Tom Hardy writing challenge it would have been over after 7 seconds.

“Yeah. No. OK. We’ll go straight through. I don’t think so. Huh. Hmm. Uh. Yeah.”

That was an accumulation of all his lines to date.

But I don’t even care. Does he have an accent? How was he so tall when he played Bain? I think about how he came to be so popular without really ever talking. Maybe it’s a lesson. Maybe I need an ambiguous accent that might also imply brain impairment but then I’ll punch someone at just the right time when they have disrespected my woman.

I think about the consequences of random actions a lot. What if I pushed a granny down at Trader Joe’s? And then told her I was just trying to help keep her sharp and helped her up and even helped her pick out better avocados.

Or if I drove my car into a parked car in a neighborhood and I was going really fast. The people would come outside and yell “what the hell are you doing man?!” And I would say “This car needed to be hit. Now go talk about this to all your coworkers.”

What would they do? More importantly, why am I not doing things like this?

Also, no to leather tube tops. Not sure the aim there but it universally doesn’t work.

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