Well it finally happened. I knew this day was coming. I was walking up the ramp towards my room to grab some shredded cheese and tortillas when I saw the cleaning cart outside my door. And my door was open. I walked lightly towards my room, creeping my head a few inches in front of …
“If I send you a picture of my boobs for the next 18 days can I be done with the writing challenge?” I’m tempted because they are my kryptonite. But I’ll be home in 5 days and that is just bad business. “Sorry babe. I’ll be stuffing mouthfuls soon anyway. No deal.” “Dang it.” It …
I can’t come up with shit for an idea. It is, in fact, fact that everyone thinks their own writing is dog shit. Although there are a few articles I’ve written that I still love because I really meant what I was saying. I also like going back to old articles and reading all the …
Uncontrollable gas might be considered a problem for a lot of people. Not for me. It means that every 8 – 10 minutes of the entire day I get to laugh out loud and then hope someone is downwind of me when I sit patiently and await their facial expression. Truly I am happy right …
It’s safe to say that the yellow and brown stains on the sheets and towels in this mountain hotel are the effects of karma from all of the hotel towels I have ejaculated into in my day. I always wondered if my mom knew when I threw my cum rag down with all the laundry. …
I don’t really know what to write about tonight. I told Alexis about the threat ISIS put on Malaysia, two of the targets being places we frequent every day while we’re staying here. I’m not concerned about the danger, I will find a stone on the ground and bash their heads into sloppy joes, but …
“You need to have compassion for yourself,” she said. I busted out laughing. I don’t know why that is what I did but it was uncontrollable. “Why are you laughing?” “I honestly don’t know.” We sat on a cement bench over looking the second oldest jungle in the world. “You can keep your eyes open …
I cried a little bit this morning when I finished my vows. I’m going to read them to her when we get married at City Hall, just the two of us, so no one can take that moment away. Then we got into a bit of an argument. I’ve been gone almost two weeks. The …
At least once a day I ask Alexis if she still loves me today. She protests the question every time. Then says yes, she does in fact still love me and that she will always love me. I believe this is true, but I will keep asking for confirmation. At least once a day I …
I need to learn how to let underground zits work themselves out. I chipped a tooth before trying to get one out. It’s the same tortured look in the mirror as I squeeze so hard that the scary vein in my dad’s forehead is now my own. I know it doesn’t want to come out …
