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whole30 Archives - Page 2 of 3 - kale & cigarettes
blog Whole30 Day 21 : Alexis Goes To Work

Whole30 Day 21 : Alexis Goes To Work

9:20 a.m. Our back room scored its second victory in as many weeks last night when we sold the IKEA daybed we had disassembled in there. Woody has a stick in the house. You never really know what it is that he’s chewing on. I let him bring stuff in from outside because I like …

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blog Whole30 Day 20 : Taro Rock

Whole30 Day 20 : Taro Rock

There is no reason for this photo other than to soften you before you begin reading. 9:28 a.m. 2/3. 66% The big 2-0. They have some healthcare in California that makes certain things free. For example, men can see a doctor for free for anything that has to do with their genitals. I consider genitals …

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blog Whole30 Day 19 : Alexis Cries And It’s Not My Fault. But It Kinda Is Too

Whole30 Day 19 : Alexis Cries And It’s Not My Fault. But It Kinda Is Too

6:15 a.m. I hate people who drive motorcycles through residential neighborhoods at 5:30 in the morning as fast as they can. First of all – how are you not cold, bro? You only have a hoodie on. Secondly – if the handlebars are above your shoulders what are the implications for blood circulation on a …

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blog Whole30 Day 18 : Apples vs Gourmet Cupcakes

Whole30 Day 18 : Apples vs Gourmet Cupcakes

7:16 a.m. I found my way into alpha state pretty quickly during meditation last night. I was proud. Then I realized I was just losing consciousness from the caramelized onions. I did self-hate pushups and shame-myself situps before drinking a gallon of water and reciting my mantra, don’t pee the bed, don’t pee the bed. …

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blog Whole30 Day 17 : I’m a Violator

Whole30 Day 17 : I’m a Violator

5:41 p.m. We just got home from Venice. This is my first time contributing to the Whole30 blog today because I already wrote 2900 words on another topic – winning political arguments. I had a blow out with an old classmate followed by an accusation towards my own mother in the last two days and …

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blog Whole30 Day 16 : Alexis Gets Pegged

Whole30 Day 16 : Alexis Gets Pegged

8:16 a.m. I weighted myself again. Because you know you weigh the least first thing in the morning. Only regret is that Jonah was in the tub and I couldn’t take a dump first. 8:56 a.m. “Do you want to eat this?” Jonah asks as he holds out a baked marshmallow cookie. “No Jonah, we …

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blog Whole30 Day 15 : Halfway Home

Whole30 Day 15 : Halfway Home

9:08 a.m. I forgot to do a Week In Review yesterday. So, after some thought, I realized I could just do a Halfway Point Analysis today and act like I planned it that way. Horrible sleep again last night. Not feeling well at all. My nose is permanently shut. I’m overwhelmed just watching Alexis try …

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blog Whole30 Day 14 : Cold Fries and Hot Ketchup

Whole30 Day 14 : Cold Fries and Hot Ketchup

8:40 a.m. United gave me 20,000 miles back from a three page complaint letter I sent regarding our flights home from Barcelona. It’s a bit of an art with them – the right amount of complaining, status mentioning, threats to use another airline, disbelief that they care so little about a customer, and then a …

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blog Whole30 Day 13 : House Guest

Whole30 Day 13 : House Guest

7:20 a.m. It feels like I’m up way too early. I know half of you have already taken three kids to school and done P90X while pumping for your newborn, and I envy and admire your drive, I’m just not there yet. Mornings are a delicate and overwhelming time. I have to go to that …

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blog Whole30 Day 12 : Farewell Day 12

Whole30 Day 12 : Farewell Day 12

8:21 a.m. It hit me last night, the perfect combination of factors. There was pressure, wind, and a little bit of uncertainty. My stomach felt like a hot bowl of soup. Alexis was lying peacefully in bed. I hovered off to the side, assuming a deep sumo squat. “Look at your balls!” she yelled before …

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