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whole 30 blog Archives - Page 2 of 3 - kale & cigarettes
blog Whole30 Day 14 : Cold Fries and Hot Ketchup

Whole30 Day 14 : Cold Fries and Hot Ketchup

8:40 a.m. United gave me 20,000 miles back from a three page complaint letter I sent regarding our flights home from Barcelona. It’s a bit of an art with them – the right amount of complaining, status mentioning, threats to use another airline, disbelief that they care so little about a customer, and then a …

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blog Whole30 Day 13 : House Guest

Whole30 Day 13 : House Guest

7:20 a.m. It feels like I’m up way too early. I know half of you have already taken three kids to school and done P90X while pumping for your newborn, and I envy and admire your drive, I’m just not there yet. Mornings are a delicate and overwhelming time. I have to go to that …

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blog Whole30 Day 12 : Farewell Day 12

Whole30 Day 12 : Farewell Day 12

8:21 a.m. It hit me last night, the perfect combination of factors. There was pressure, wind, and a little bit of uncertainty. My stomach felt like a hot bowl of soup. Alexis was lying peacefully in bed. I hovered off to the side, assuming a deep sumo squat. “Look at your balls!” she yelled before …

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blog Whole30 Day 11 : Making Breakfast Great Again

Whole30 Day 11 : Making Breakfast Great Again

8:53 a.m. N.A.U.S.E..A. 9:03 a.m. I’m pretty sure we went to bed at like 11 last night. I’m not positive because I didn’t check the time, but I know it was early. And we didn’t wake up this morning until just before 9. It’s raining outside and I want to sleep all day. Somewhere during …

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blog Whole30 Day 10 : Woody Pees On Everything

Whole30 Day 10 : Woody Pees On Everything

8:17 a.m. Double digits, bitches, I mean, ya’ll. Too aggressive. Sorry. 1/3 through. It’s all about the fractions now. Did you make the paper rings out of construction paper to count down to Christmas when you were little? I loved those. Okay, so I watched two episodes last night, not one. I don’t understand how …

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blog Whole30 Day 9 : Today Was Not My Day

Whole30 Day 9 : Today Was Not My Day

5: 33 p.m. Thinking about doing this all in one swoop tonight. I made a commitment not to be on my computer all day today because it’s Saturday and I’m trying to engage in the good graces of the collective weekend vibe. Let’s start with this morning. I woke up with my neck thrown out. …

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blog Whole30 Day 8 : Apparently There’s Not A Space Between Whole And 30

Whole30 Day 8 : Apparently There’s Not A Space Between Whole And 30

8:31 a.m. Woke up this morning to a nice, threatening email from Alexis’ mom. Just so you can get a better understanding of the mental makeup of this particular individual I’ve included the full transcript. Seems like she might be on the Whole30 as well. Now, you might be thinking, “Okay, you’re taking this a …

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blog Whole 30 Day 7 : Who Wouldn’t Wanna Do This? Me.

Whole 30 Day 7 : Who Wouldn’t Wanna Do This? Me.

8:32 a.m. Did anyone ever think maybe this was a bad idea? I mean consider this – the first two books on the Whole 30 diet were written by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig. The most recent book, only Melissa’s name appears on the cover. Dallas probably lost his shit and their whole relationship ended over …

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blog Whole 30 Day 6 : Am I Sick of This Already?

Whole 30 Day 6 : Am I Sick of This Already?

8:14 a.m. Adult things happened last night. I am as nauseous as I’ve been since the beginning. I feel weak, my head hurts, and I couldn’t sleep well. I had a dream that a dozen of my friends were at the movies and to stay warm we had a dinosaur behind us breathing out of …

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blog Whole 30 Day 5 : Tiger Blood?

Whole 30 Day 5 : Tiger Blood?

10:22 a.m. Yeah I’m late to the game this morning. I get it. But I had important work to do. Something that has been unsettling to me since I’ve started this challenge is this new jacket I bought in Paris. We walked by a Nike Lab and Alexis said that we should go in. Little …

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