Skinny-Fat: 500 Words a Day – Day 10

Skinny-Fat: 500 Words a Day – Day 10

You can’t really talk about the things you learn through living in other cultures to people that haven’t lived in other cultures. You just sound like a douche. And you don’t really need to talk about them with people that have done the same because it’s not cool to do so because it’s cooler if it’s just implied. But there are some things that I can’t help but talk about.

Like how to abandon a joke in a language barrier situation. Or accepting fatness in travel.

Asian culture operates on a 15 year curve in relation to the West in terms of sense of humor and maturity. If someone is 30 years old and from Malaysia they will very likely have the same social application as a 15 year old from the US. This is great because they laugh at everything. It’s best to keep most correspondence 1-sided, meaning you do all the talking and then walk away as they are thinking about what to say next. However, in the event that you should find yourself in a situation where one tries to make a joke in return or ask you a question about your life and it makes little to no sense, or it makes a lot of sense but is so underwhelming that you can’t even muster up the twitching half lip smile, it’s best to just say things like “Wow” or “Interesting” because they are ambiguous and therefore not lying.

Many times though I just don’t wear my glasses and pretend like I can’t see anyone.

In an unrelated story about passion and betrayal, constant travel has nearly broken my neurotic sensibilities.

It’s scientifically impossible to recreate the quality of life you experience at home in your wheelhouse while on the road for extended periods of time.

When I’m at home I wake up without an alarm. I never schedule work or meetings before 11am. I have a solid 90 minute routine of stretching, hanging upside down on ropes, meditating, listening to Spanish podcasts, drinking ACV, taking down shots of sulfur, and walking a few blocks before I tackle anything of the world. After all of this is done I’m ready to integrate. But when I’m on the road there are long work days, fixed schedules, and a few people above me on the decision making food chain. To make matters worse, in Asia there are no vegetables. At least not ones that I would touch. It’s mostly chicken bones, chicken tendons, chicken ligaments, chicken feet, chicken beaks, chicken memorabilia, chicken testicles, chicken musical instruments, and the thoughts of chickens. I let this get me so upset every time I’m packing for a long trip because the disruption of my routine means that I become suboptimal – tired, lazy, angry, and uninteresting. I begin feeling the pouch before it forms on day 4. I look in the mirror and adjust the lighting and try to tell myself that this time I’ll avoid it. But I don’t. It’s back today. I pinch it and squeeze it and hate it. I’ll go to the hotel gym and run today until I have shin splints but it won’t help because you can’t outrun skinny-fatness in Asia. It’s a lifestyle.


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