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Plus 1: Day 24 - kale & cigarettes
Plus 1: Day 24

Plus 1: Day 24

It’s possible that at the beginning of the day I could hate something that at the end of the day I love.

I can go live in the mountain and miss everything I left at home but eventually the mountain becomes the only thing I know.

Eventually, you can get used to anything.

I’ve been a mystery for much of the last 6 years in San Diego. I’ve had girlfriends, even one fairly long relationship, but I’ve always shown up at events alone. I’ve never called in a +1. This was to keep things light. Because there was no freedom in being a pair.

She made a dip today for the superbowl party. That’s how adult we were today. Far more legit than Cam Newton who scurried like he saw a mouse when he should have been diving on a loose ball. I want the record to state that I am NEVER wrong about someone’s character. And I knew Cam was a professional puss since the moment I laid eyes on him. It does feel so good to be right about a person like him when half the room is always filled with people that think because he is cocky that he is cool. Now he’s just a bitch. And I’m right because I can spot a coward anywhere.

The thing about chips and dip is that they are so delicious. And you’ll always find the socially awkward ones lingering at the food table because if you are chewing you cannot be talking. We circled that thing until chewing started to cause physical pain. But I wasn’t leaving until I ate every godddamn last bite of her wing dip. Because that’s what you do. You wear the sweater and you eat the dip until it’s gone and it is your favorite dip there ever was.

Speaking of which. It is quite a phenomenon being in a room filled with all couples. The clichés fire from all directions. And for a moment I’m reminded why I used to come to all these things alone. Because the thought of giving up my own voice to fit into a room is crippling.

But the opposite thing has been happening to us than you might think at all these social conventions. Whenever a sentence flew that was cringe-worthy she was making her way over to the chip table too. And there we would whisper. And there we would talk about how fucking stupid all of the commercials were and how they are always so goddamn terrible. And I thought about how nice it is going to be to bring her home with me for Christmas. Not because I look forward to spending that much time with my family but because I know not a single horribly awkward moment will be brutally endured by only me from now on. We’ll be looking for the food table together now, no matter what kind of event we happen to find ourselves at.

Relationships have always terrified me because it seems inevitable that you become the brainless twats that call your friends and say things like, “Hahaha yeah bro yeah you know how the old ball and chain can be around that time of the month….you know what I’m sayin?!?!” Because in this moment please hit my over the head with a metal shovel.

I asked if she was going to miss me when she got on the train tomorrow morning.

“Are you kidding? I miss you already.”

“You’re my best friend,” I told her.

I used to hate the thought of having a +1. But I’ve gotten used to her being here and riding around on the scooter and eating orange slices from the farmer’s market.

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