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Long Term Strangers: 500 Words Per Day - Day 19
Long Term Strangers: Day 19

Long Term Strangers: Day 19

1.29.15

Day 19

The crying has begun. Level 3 kids. Asian kids. They need to be challenged to communicate their emotions. Like a bunch of time bombs walking around these halls. Pushed culturally into emotional suppression.

Enter Blocks Challenge. Where you have to communicate something authentically and if you’re not telling the truth, your ass isn’t getting a block. Greg led with a story about his brother passing last month and watching him muscle through it was enough to crack more than a few kids open.

And now they are telling their stories, to their teams. And many of them are crying. We’re walking around handing out tissues and their teammates are supporting them. But no coddling, just empathetic listening.

I have a hard time with emotional sharing. Makes me feel like such a pussy. And even saying that I know I sound like I’m from 1932, but it’s true. That’s how I grew up.

I actually love talking about my emotions though. Once I get rolling. It’s the start up that is challenging, and even worse, the moments after I’m done when I know I’ve just given someone fuel to judge me later.

Take for example the 20 minute fetal recovery position I took this evening after dinner. Like I was a wounded animal crawling away for my last few breaths. I don’t want anyone to see me when I’m busted up inside. It’s humiliating. But it feels so good to tell people things. Not sure how to get used to it other than practice. But who do I practice on?

There’s a reason why life coaches and trainers don’t sit around and coach one another. They like to be the one in the room that knows the most. They like to implement their techniques on people that admittedly need their help. There’s a reason why it’s easier to share deep hurt with strangers too; I don’t have to see them again. They aren’t in my inner circle. I won’t have to smell judgment on their breath when they see me at the next holiday party.

I guess to have a very meaningful life and meaningful relationships I will need to get better at acting like a stranger around the people I love the most. I will compliment the hell out of someone I’ve known for less than a month, but once that relationship hits the 2 or 3 month mark I’m looking for flaws. I don’t know why. I’m sure it has something to do with my own weaknesses. But as a practice, I’d like to see what would happen if I treated someone I’ve known my whole life with the same enthusiasm as someone I just met at a yoga class on a vacation in Bali.

Everyone is good at putting on their best up front. It’s fucking easy. It’s just like traveling. Who doesn’t like it? But what would my life be like if I found a way to avoid contentment and eventually resentment?

The end.

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