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January 2017 - Page 2 of 3 - kale & cigarettes
blog How To Win A Political Argument

How To Win A Political Argument

I’m sure you’ve engaged in many political arguments lately. — I am writing this as a letter to myself – the angry man who spends hours fighting with his own family and strangers online about their stance on healthcare, civil rights, and what it means to be an American. I’m not a psychologist or a …

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blog Whole30 Day 20 : Taro Rock

Whole30 Day 20 : Taro Rock

There is no reason for this photo other than to soften you before you begin reading. 9:28 a.m. 2/3. 66% The big 2-0. They have some healthcare in California that makes certain things free. For example, men can see a doctor for free for anything that has to do with their genitals. I consider genitals …

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blog Whole30 Day 19 : Alexis Cries And It’s Not My Fault. But It Kinda Is Too

Whole30 Day 19 : Alexis Cries And It’s Not My Fault. But It Kinda Is Too

6:15 a.m. I hate people who drive motorcycles through residential neighborhoods at 5:30 in the morning as fast as they can. First of all – how are you not cold, bro? You only have a hoodie on. Secondly – if the handlebars are above your shoulders what are the implications for blood circulation on a …

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blog Whole30 Day 18 : Apples vs Gourmet Cupcakes

Whole30 Day 18 : Apples vs Gourmet Cupcakes

7:16 a.m. I found my way into alpha state pretty quickly during meditation last night. I was proud. Then I realized I was just losing consciousness from the caramelized onions. I did self-hate pushups and shame-myself situps before drinking a gallon of water and reciting my mantra, don’t pee the bed, don’t pee the bed. …

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blog Whole30 Day 17 : I’m a Violator

Whole30 Day 17 : I’m a Violator

5:41 p.m. We just got home from Venice. This is my first time contributing to the Whole30 blog today because I already wrote 2900 words on another topic – winning political arguments. I had a blow out with an old classmate followed by an accusation towards my own mother in the last two days and …

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blog Whole30 Day 16 : Alexis Gets Pegged

Whole30 Day 16 : Alexis Gets Pegged

8:16 a.m. I weighted myself again. Because you know you weigh the least first thing in the morning. Only regret is that Jonah was in the tub and I couldn’t take a dump first. 8:56 a.m. “Do you want to eat this?” Jonah asks as he holds out a baked marshmallow cookie. “No Jonah, we …

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blog Whole30 Day 15 : Halfway Home

Whole30 Day 15 : Halfway Home

9:08 a.m. I forgot to do a Week In Review yesterday. So, after some thought, I realized I could just do a Halfway Point Analysis today and act like I planned it that way. Horrible sleep again last night. Not feeling well at all. My nose is permanently shut. I’m overwhelmed just watching Alexis try …

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blog Whole30 Day 14 : Cold Fries and Hot Ketchup

Whole30 Day 14 : Cold Fries and Hot Ketchup

8:40 a.m. United gave me 20,000 miles back from a three page complaint letter I sent regarding our flights home from Barcelona. It’s a bit of an art with them – the right amount of complaining, status mentioning, threats to use another airline, disbelief that they care so little about a customer, and then a …

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blog Whole30 Day 13 : House Guest

Whole30 Day 13 : House Guest

7:20 a.m. It feels like I’m up way too early. I know half of you have already taken three kids to school and done P90X while pumping for your newborn, and I envy and admire your drive, I’m just not there yet. Mornings are a delicate and overwhelming time. I have to go to that …

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blog Whole30 Day 12 : Farewell Day 12

Whole30 Day 12 : Farewell Day 12

8:21 a.m. It hit me last night, the perfect combination of factors. There was pressure, wind, and a little bit of uncertainty. My stomach felt like a hot bowl of soup. Alexis was lying peacefully in bed. I hovered off to the side, assuming a deep sumo squat. “Look at your balls!” she yelled before …

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