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February 2016 - kale & cigarettes
500 Words A Day Machine Guns and Homeless People: Day 27

Machine Guns and Homeless People: Day 27

9:26pm Shaky hands. Good to be back to boxing. I predicted 400 likes. We just surpassed it and we’re still climbing. Everyone is being so nice. She texted that she was crying when she read it. I cried for a second too. This is meaningful shit. I was afraid to post today because my last …

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blog Things to do when you wake up and before you go to bed so you don’t freak out about life every day

Things to do when you wake up and before you go to bed so you don’t freak out about life every day

This article is here for you. Because when you wake up in the morning you are a raging disaster of indecision and self-doubt. I feel you. I am too. But because of the right combination of psychosis and observation I have learned how to trick myself into being productive. Not just somewhat productive but I’m …

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500 Words A Day Plus 1: Day 24

Plus 1: Day 24

It’s possible that at the beginning of the day I could hate something that at the end of the day I love. I can go live in the mountain and miss everything I left at home but eventually the mountain becomes the only thing I know. Eventually, you can get used to anything. I’ve been …

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500 Words A Day Steak Farts: Day 23

Steak Farts: Day 23

“What if you had to choose between never seeing me again or having our forearms sewn together?” “What do you think babe?” “Never seeing me again?” “No! Sewn together!” I was walking today and noticing the things I was thinking that were funny and interesting. I wanted to save them for later, for when I …

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500 Words A Day I’m A Psycho: Day 22

I’m A Psycho: Day 22

I never connected that the world maniacal came from the word maniac.  I wasn’t until I try to come up with a word for someone behaving like a maniac and said “He’s maniac-el” that it dawned on me. My whole fucking life it’s been hiding in the bushes just like that. Anger as a friend …

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500 Words A Day Entitled: Day 21

Entitled: Day 21

Is there some clever connection about titling an article entitled? Let me clear my throat here for a second. I will psychically fight all of the old timers complaining about the evolution of English grammar. People making comments like, “Webster’s decided to modify the original meaning for the word perfunctory to account for post modern …

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500 Words A Day A Very Smart Dog: Day 20

A Very Smart Dog: Day 20

I don’t know how many people out of the 162 or so in this group are actually contributing articles every day. There is a limitation on how many scrolls one can engage in on the feed. A point when the hateful itch of wasted time grabs the hair on my neck and tugs. I don’t …

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500 Words A Day I Watched a Man Penetrate My Wife Today: Day 19

I Watched a Man Penetrate My Wife Today: Day 19

I knew that would draw you in, because you’re sick. I try to avoid click bait in titles as much as possible. I had a friend that used to name all of her articles dramatically because she said it quadrupled the readership. And here’s what I think – I don’t give a shit how many …

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500 Words A Day Vietnamese Terrorist: Day 18

Vietnamese Terrorist: Day 18

I saw a tiny Vietnamese terrorist today. She was old and she was angry. And she was bleeding, which I didn’t need to know about. I never feel ill until I go to the doctors. For a place that is supposed to make you better they sure do a terrible job with ambiance. Like the …

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